Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Aug 29, 2006 9:02:17 GMT -5
Granted. Every program you could ever want access to works perfectly and is completely free. Forever. Of course, this entails lots of overtime by every programmer in existance in order to work all the bugs out and to get everything up to your specifications, plus since the stuff is free, they're no longer getting paid, so pretty soon they've all shifted to other industries and before you know it, there's no new software coming onto the market at all, save for a few, isolated linux programs created by the now out-of-work programmers in their spare time. With this lack of development, the entire world reaches a state of computer-technological stagnation, and before you know it, society has collapsed and reverted to the dark ages, but that's about two more generations down the road after your wish, so what've you got to worry about, right? You have all the free software you could ever want. . .
I wish I could start the word association game here.
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Schrau
Storymaster
RMPD's Scruffiest
Posts: 125
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Post by Schrau on Aug 29, 2006 15:28:16 GMT -5
Granted.
Failure ;D
I wish I could sleep a regular eight hours a night instead of suffering from crippling insomnia.
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Post by Molalzsath on Sept 4, 2006 18:18:46 GMT -5
Granted. You now sleep 8 hour a night. However, that means you now fall asleep at 10pm, every night, on the dot, no matter where you are or what you are doing. One night you loose track of time and fall asleep without chesting your equipment.
George W. Bush
I wish I had been given shares in Microsoft when it was still a start-up.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Sept 4, 2006 21:13:15 GMT -5
Granted. You were given shares in microsoft when it was a startup company. In fact, you were given all of them! Unfortunately, having no knowledge of the company's far-reaching potential at the time that you were given the shares, you thought it would be a cool project to take a hold of yourself. I mean, you know something about computers, right? You took advantage of your position as majority shareholder and placed yourself as ceo over the growing company. Sadly, through your poor business management skills, the company soon crumbles and wallows in obscurity. Everyone now uses apple computers, which have become just as buggy and market domineering as windows was destined to be. Your own company, microsoft, lives on, but in obscurity. You now manufacture only word processing software that runs on ipods.
President.
I wish this post was shorter.
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Schrau
Storymaster
RMPD's Scruffiest
Posts: 125
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Post by Schrau on Sept 5, 2006 7:41:40 GMT -5
Granted. However, your post finished at the word "company." Not only did you fail to corrupt Molalzsath's wish correctly, but you also failed to supply a wish of your own, earning you a double punishment:
Molalzsath, continue with supplying your punishments. Make 'em good ;D
Office.
I wish I could find the motivation to actually do the important work I'm supposed to be doing right now instead of checking in on this thread.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Sept 19, 2006 12:41:35 GMT -5
Granted, however that motivation takes the form of a whip-bearing task master (an ugly, fat old guy too, just in case you have. . . other sorts of interests in the use of whips) who beats you repeatedly and only lessens up his smitings ever-so-slightly while you do the other work. As it happens, he considers that work to take priority over eating and sleeping as well, and whenever you cease that work for _any_ reason, the lashings return full force, rather than the occasional lashes of boredom that you recieve while working (probably for not working as hard as he would like).
Depot.
I wish I were in Finland right now.
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Carnely
Storyteller
Hall of Famer
Armed & Lecherous
Posts: 74
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Post by Carnely on Sept 20, 2006 3:55:00 GMT -5
Granted. You're in Finland. Scant moments before your arrival, everyone else has been captured by Russians and transported to the plains of Kazakhstan, and you don't have a Russian visa. Or a Kazakh one for the matter.
Fire.
I wish I wasn't so bloody socially inept.
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Pyra
Storyteller
Time to find a snack!
Posts: 46
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Post by Pyra on Sept 23, 2006 10:30:24 GMT -5
Granted. You are now so sociable that you are the life of every party. In fact, people are willing to fight over you so that you will go to there party and make it the talk of the town. Sadly, during one of those fights, you get cut down in the crossfire.
Dragon
I wish I had a legal copy of Myst 5, and the receipt to prove it was mine.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Sept 23, 2006 11:31:31 GMT -5
Granted. Your best friend buys a copy of the game, but they never play it. It stays in the bag with the receipt and everything. Three days later, they commit suicide, leaving the game to you in their will. Congrats. You have your game. Happy now?
Breath
I wish, I wish , To use this rhyme, To go back home until next time! <wooshing sound> <dragontales theme song>
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Post by Molalzsath on Oct 3, 2006 22:35:24 GMT -5
Granted. You now wish to use the ryhme to go back home until next time. Unfortunately, the wish is all demanding, and you spend all your time muttering, singing, shouting and yodelling the rhyme, in an attempt to get home, which never works.
Bad.
For punishment for failing to properly corrupt a wish, your character gets trapped in Utopia. You now have nothing to kill but small children, which never give any decent experience, and slowly drive you mad with their inane chatter.
For punishment for not providing your own wish, you a given the Utopia Children slayer title. This all goes well until the children hold a fete in the school playground. You arrive there to find hundreds of children, who all turn on you. You are beaten to a bloody pulp by their small fists.
I wish I was a retromud wizard.
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Pyra
Storyteller
Time to find a snack!
Posts: 46
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Post by Pyra on Feb 3, 2007 15:33:51 GMT -5
Granted. You are now one of the New Wizards of Retromud. Unfortunatly, you are tasked with coding the mineral and plant server. And constantly being bothered to code crotch slots, player mounts, and a spiritual caster guild that has as much offensive power as the mage guild.
Apple
I wish two or three inches of snow would fall so it actually looks like winter, since there's usually a foot of snow down this time of year.
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Feb 3, 2007 19:48:18 GMT -5
Granted, you get 5 feet of snow, trapping you inside.
Green
I wish I had time to finish my cosplay costume before the con.
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Post by Cliff on Feb 12, 2007 16:15:49 GMT -5
Granted. You have a ton of time...in fact, you have 70 years! While waiting for the con, you contract prostate cancer and have to spend 10 years in the hospital before dying.
Red green.
I wish I wasn't so bloody tired all the time.
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Post by Calliope on Feb 24, 2007 5:19:35 GMT -5
Granted
You are no longer tired all the time because you develop narcolepsy and cannot stay awake. You are not allowed to drive or operate machinery of any kind. You are unable to keep a job and are forced to subsist on Social Security Disability and become physically addicted to amphetamines (which don't really help). You earn extra money through selling the amphetamines until you are caught and imprisoned.
I wish I had a weekend off, a one-way ticket to Tijuana, and a bottle of Scope.
Colorblindness
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Post by Cliff on Mar 17, 2007 22:15:01 GMT -5
Granted. You have a weekend off, a one-way ticket to tijuana...and no money. When you get there, your attempts to trade the bottle for food fail, and you're mugged. You sleep under a bridge and wake up with a missing pair of kidneys. Shortly afterwards you die.
I wish I had enough exp to max out my Sikh levels.
Phantasmal killer.
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