Glove
Storyteller
Posts: 48
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Post by Glove on Aug 5, 2006 23:52:33 GMT -5
Granted. You never have to sleep. In fact, you're completely unable to sleep. Unfortunately, you do get tired, and spend all of your time longing for slumber, but never are able to sleep. Eventually, you effectively become a zombie. Fun times.
I wish only good things happened to me.
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Carnely
Storyteller
Hall of Famer
Armed & Lecherous
Posts: 74
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Post by Carnely on Aug 6, 2006 11:05:27 GMT -5
Granted. Nothing bad happens to you, while all around you the world goes to pieces. Finally the people in your neighborhood, tired of all the shit that befalls them and jealous of your good fortune, decide to help you move on the wheel of reincarnation. They only wanted the best for you, really!
I wish I'd never run out of art supplies.
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Post by Molalzsath on Aug 6, 2006 18:54:31 GMT -5
Granted. You loose all your artistic ability, thus eliminating the use of your art supplies. So now you have art supplies you will never use.
I wish I had a faster internet connection.
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Dinadan
Storyteller
Making a Dangerous Din
Posts: 55
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Post by Dinadan on Aug 11, 2006 12:51:07 GMT -5
Granted. Within three days, your faster connection allows your machine to be hijacked by a hacker and used as a proxy to launch viral attacks on the U.S. government. You are promptly arrested and extradited. The legal mess takes six years to sort out, during which time your stuff is repossessed and you accumulate hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees before returning home destitute.
I wish I could run forever without getting tired.
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Post by Cliff on Aug 14, 2006 17:17:25 GMT -5
Granted. However, you run so slowly that a bus mistakes you for a snail and runs you over.
I wish that there were no idiots in the world (and no thermonuclear smitage)
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Glove
Storyteller
Posts: 48
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Post by Glove on Aug 14, 2006 18:36:49 GMT -5
Granted. -Everyone-'s gone. It's not like I need to explain any further how, since nobody is around to care.
I wish I had my tuition payed for me.
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Post by Cliff on Aug 15, 2006 20:15:36 GMT -5
Granted. However, the tution is to clown college and when you put that down on your resume your would-be employer laughs himself sick, literally dying laughing and you're accused of murder and put away for life.
I wish I had a golem to top fuze's 'uber-binky'
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Aug 16, 2006 10:13:17 GMT -5
Granted, however now Fuze makes an " uber-uber-binky" to top yours.
I wish I worked somewhere that wasn't retail.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Aug 16, 2006 14:08:59 GMT -5
Granted. You're now a telemarketer. You thought the lack of holidays and dealing with angry customers was bad before? Also, your family disowns you.
I wish I had more shiny objects. (obligatory wish)
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Post by Cliff on Aug 16, 2006 17:31:32 GMT -5
Granted. You have many more shiny objects, however you took out a fricking massive loan to buy them and they get stolen and you couldn't afford the insurance so you get no benifit from that. You go into debt and die cold and alone in an abandoned alley trying to sell dope to cover your debt.
I wish that Limbo hadn't collapsed and my astral projection still worked nicely.
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Post by Aissance on Aug 16, 2006 19:17:40 GMT -5
granted but now in every room except the paths there are sand worms that are ten times deadlier.
I wish i could buy myself a private island and be able to fly my friends there.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Aug 17, 2006 1:59:09 GMT -5
Granted. You have a private island and can fly your friends to it, but they're all jealous of your newfound and quite underserved prosperity and don't want to go. In fact, they feel your invitation to attend is an attempt to flaunt your new possessions and they refuse to have any contact with you, forcing you to live on your cold, artic island alone with only the polar bears for company. ...I mentioned it was in the arctic, right?
I wish I was a real boy.
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Post by Starstorm on Aug 19, 2006 20:31:16 GMT -5
Tada! You're now a real boy, and will be a real boy forever.
Unfortunately, now you're locked at the age of 10, and noone ever takes you seriously again.
I wish for no wishes.
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Post by Molalzsath on Aug 28, 2006 22:07:19 GMT -5
Granted. You have no more wishes. Everyone else gets a cut of your share, while you are out of the game.
As quoted from the Simpsons: I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, <and> I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
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Post by Loktainotloggedin on Aug 29, 2006 0:48:49 GMT -5
Granted. Your sandwich was made 3 years before you got it, and has since bred a new and deadly strain of mold. After eating it, you become a carrier for the best population control since the plague. It was, however, remarkably delicious.
I wish any program I wanted to use would be in perfect working order and free (as in beer) on my OS of choice.
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