Comments - The Sundered Clan

[Pyra]

Comments and constructive critisisms welcome and hoped for.

[Pyra]

It occured to me that some parts of the story will make more sense if read with the Appendices. Well, parts thereof, to spare spoilers. I'll start putting up relavant pieces here to highlight some cultural nuances that couldn't be overtly explained in the main story. The full Appendices, including the bits previewed here, will go up after the main story is completed

To start with, language conventions:

i) Language

Due to its peculiar origin, the Clan Skahr'l-Muhd (Broken from the World) has devolved three distinct languages, and three specific modes of speech. The three languages are modern Drakhen, Ancient Drakhen, and the common tongue, while the modes are familial, formal, and high formal.

The basic tongue is the familial mode, spoken between immediate family and close friends. It is the language of bonding and intimacy, of the very young, and the repository of slang and nicknames. Since the Clan adopts in new blood from outside its borders, and absorbs the newest nuances of the modern tongue, the familial tongue is quite similar to the informal Drakhen language of our time.

The formal mode is like the familial mode in that it similar to modern Drakhen, but it differs by a strict lack of any slang or shortened words. Its hallmarks are saying as much as possible with the fewest words, though the mastery of that technique is polished with age. The formal mode is employed between any two clan members that do not consider the other a close friend, or when discussing a happening of importance to the clan in general. It is also used to show and accept respect.

The final mode, the high formal mode, is unaltered Drakhen from the earliest days, possibly as early as the Age of Dragons. This language is the mother tongue of the Elders of Clan Skahr'l-Muhd. Speaking in this mode indicates grave significance or extreme respect. The Eldest is generally addressed in this mode. Its other use is to indicate extreme displeasure with the listener, a prelude to an attack, or to discipline by an adult to an erring child.

The common language is learned by all clan members in case they decide to venture Outside, seeking an unrelated mate, or knowledge of how the worlds have changed since the last foray.

[Pyra]

So there's the last section for the first part. I had hoped to get it up before winter break, but stuff happened. I believe the rest of this should go more smoothly, as I've had parts of this story written as long as a year and a half ago, but I started in the middle. The outline I developed actually started after this point, with only a short introductory lead-in. So, everything else is half-written already, and just needs a little more 'flesh' on the 'skeleton'. Part 1 was the biggest pain because I couldn't see a clear outline of how it needed to flow, which is why it took so long. Now, I think things will start moving faster with the scene set and the main characters in play for the most part. And soon the screaming will start. But first the cheeping. Most definitely the cheeping.

[Urthdigger]

Hmm, the name Zaraklyn sounds familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it...

[Cliff]

The guy who kills you dead dead dead.
*helpfuls*

[Urthdigger]

Hooray, plot!

Not to say there's hasn't been plot before this, but to use a cliche, the plot thickens

[Pyra]

The plot should stay thick. I hadn't planned on things being quite that grim or personal, but the chapter ran away from me and insisted that this version fits better than the old outline. Ah, well. I guess I'll be finding out the path to the ending with everyone else now.

[Urthdigger]

Hehe, it's always so fun when the story goes out on it's own.

[Pyra]

Ok, finally got the next parts up. Posts were delayed due to hay week and thunderstorms. Picture a stack of hay reaching twenty feet from floor to barn peak. In one week. And you thought it was boring in the sticks! *whistles innocently*