Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Sept 7, 2006 12:32:28 GMT -5
Yeah, you did. I really think I should say more on your story though, but I don't know what to say. Honestly, the biggest thing I'm waiting for is seeing just how the Hands could manage to save the day. With all the "End of a -" posts, it seems like it's beginning to reach the conclusion. Everything seems up in the air, can't wait to see it all come down.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Sept 7, 2006 13:51:39 GMT -5
Reaching a conclusion, huh? Hmm... what DO I have left? Up next is "The Incursus" then "The Bath-Asher" and.. I dont' remember exactly which one comes after that. I know there's still "The Mullah" "The Mage" and "Huja" left, along with one or two I can't list without revealing upcoming plot developments, and a few that may become necessary as the outline gets more concrete. There will have to be an epilogue, just to document a lot of what happens afterward, though I'm constantly uncertain about how long it will end up being.
What does surprise me about your comment is that you say that things are beginning to reach a conclusion. I rather expected when I got into this story that even when I got toward the end, the story would still hold the feel of a tale that is somewhere quite near its beginning. Perhaps that's because I have everything planned out too well and the developments seem relatively minor to me, when they may be dramatic and mind boggling to everyone else. The story starts and ends with an element of en medias res ("in the middle of things" for those not familiar with the term). Since I was taking this story out of events loosely explained in the history of the retroverse, it has a long, complicated story both preceding it and coming after, just as all stories in life probably do: an adventure does not end when the villain is defeated and the heroes return home to their peaceful village, only the story does.
The only true ending of any story comes with death or a return to the status quo. A story that ends with the prior should start with the birth of that which dies, or its coming into existence in the eyes of the narrator, and a story that ends with the latter should start the way it began. "Not Only Raji. . ." follows neither pattern, I don't think, save perhaps the first in an obscure form. It is more, in that respect, a glimpse out of life than a properly organized tale. I'm not sure if it's better or worse that way.
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Sept 7, 2006 15:49:31 GMT -5
Well, if not the conclusion, then at least the climax. "They certainly couldn't get any worse, right?", "It would be even longer before they would see it again.", "They were going to be around forever, after all, so why hurry?" (I'm guessing this is sarcasm), "So help him, Old Jafar was going to pray for that miracle.". All of these are building up suspense towards.... something, I dunno. Whatever it is, it's probably going to be the biggest part of the story.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Sept 15, 2006 22:05:03 GMT -5
So... this scene was one of the main ones for my warnings about suggestive content. I still remember everyone being mildly shocked after chapter 1 part 1, but surprisingly, I don't see it happening here so far. I guess anticipation was worse than the actual problem here though. I managed to spend most of the post leading up to the brief makeout scene, rather than having to spend more time narrating it. Still, tell me what you think. Was it excessive? Was I paranoid? Does high dex and agi, great epr/ep max, plenty of con, and the ability to read minds really make Hand/Ordo's the ultimate lovers? Is this post more disturbing than the story post? The world waits with baited breath for these answers and more! Stay tuned and find out on the next "Comments: Not Only Raji. . ."! (hopefully posted by someone besides me)
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Sept 16, 2006 22:50:17 GMT -5
Well, I think it might be that showing two people who have just had sex probably has a bit more shock value than showing people kissing. Not excessive at all. Didn't know you were paranoid. Reading minds can be a problem in some relationships. Only slightly
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Sept 21, 2006 15:31:02 GMT -5
Actually, I was gonna' add something about the anatomy skill and high perception to that list, but anyway. . .
Arterial slash, maneuver, hamstring, pyrokinesis, and grisly trophy.
Many people wonder why Hands can't dues an ettin corpse twice. This is an oversimplified explanation here. From my understanding it amounts to a similar reason to why a hand can't cut the head off, then let a cultist take the heart, and allow a paladin to bury it afterward. The reason is that it's the processing of the soul somehow that allows one to get the dues. That's why Hands cannot dues a player corpse (note the distinction between a player corpse and a clone corpse, and yes, I understand that some guilds can) and might provide some out-of-game reason for why player owned undead corpses cannot be duesed. . . maybe? Anyway, this is all just my own interpretation of the retroverse.
You may have noticed this post came late. You have my apologies. This is the third time this has happened this story, if I remember right, though I tend to have pretty impressive (and actually true!) excuses for why I don't get them sent in. Last time, you may remember, involved the collision of two semi trucks carrying vats of acid and resulting clouds of poisonous gas.
I'm afraid this one isn't as neat. My car had battery problems twice within a short time of each other, and I found myself stranded about an hour's drive from home. Fortunately, I had friends in the area, whom I contacted. I was able to return home, though it was somewhat late when I did. I did not send the rp post prior because I was busy working on another project for my actual job, and went late on it, and it did not send it after returning home, because, although I probably had time and could have, I wanted to make sure I did a good job on this post (last one was kinda' crummy) and wasn't sure I could do that on so little sleep. I also respect my fiance's wishes that I take care of myself and actually sleep at night, which may have been a slightly stronger motivating factor for the delay at the end.
Anyway, I'll stick this up on retro later. Thanks for your patience and pardon my blogging.
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Sept 22, 2006 12:31:29 GMT -5
Hey, the blogging's fun. It's always nice to see what went through the writer's head when he wrote something. Granted, I'm the person who gets annotated versions of every book he can, and always watches the commentary after watching a movie. I liked the whole fight with the ettins, both this post and the previous one. Ettins are just fun to work with I guess, what with the moronic second head and all.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Sept 28, 2006 1:43:29 GMT -5
I don't know if the rest of you felt it, but even in the arctic, I didn't think you could get that cold... (reference to final line of 14.2, btw)
Anyway, I just noticed this will be my 100th post on these boards. I talk to much. My title is probably about to change to something offensive now, isn't it?
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Sept 28, 2006 9:42:36 GMT -5
Eh, now you're a storymaster instead of a storyteller.
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Oct 1, 2006 17:38:47 GMT -5
Meh. Storymaster isn't so bad, I guess. I guess I'll have to wait until I get another star added before I really have to dread posting here.
Anyway, sorry I didn't get this one on the boards until two days later. My apologies, for this post was a little hastily done. I dunno if it shows or not. I'll endeavor to get the story on a more interesting run again soon. With Wednesday's post, I actually reached the end of what of the story I had planned in fine detail. I know what happens for the rest, but I haven't mapped it out quite as carefully as I ought to have. Hopefully I'll be able to keep the story running without interruption though. I already figured out what Monday and Wednesday's post will be, and I hope to use the IRP story to fuel some of my end of chapter posts (which reminds me that I should go post there later today). The ending of this story should be awesome and stuff, and I want to make sure I'm prepared and can do it justice.
So. . . yeah. *salutes* -Kereth Midknight
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Oct 1, 2006 22:47:51 GMT -5
Eh, the post still looks really good. The delay with posting here threw me for a loop though, I logged on here and was thinking "Yes! Ok, now to see what happened to mom and pop!", only to see it's the post I already saw. Curse you!!! I have confidence that you'll keep that schedule even without the stuff planned out. The past two weeks when I was going for a post a day, I was literally coming up with most of the stuff as I posted it. The last post I did was actually delayed because I had the rest of the fight planned out... and forgot to pick a guild for Gendo! Just from the quality of your posts, I know you're a better writer than me, so don't swear it.
...why the heck are the google ads giving me stuff for Scarface?
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Oct 5, 2006 17:49:36 GMT -5
Oh, hey, speaking of delayed posts...
RL problems again. You know how it is. Work fell a little behind these last two days also. Had problems with my bank to work out and general stresses making me really not feel like writing anything. Anyway, here it is. It feels a little dry to me, but the explanations it offers are important to the story. I suppose I'll throw it up on retro. . . sometime. . .
Anyway, in better news, I have all that planning stuff for the story done now. The plot shall continue without fear of interruptions, 'cept from unexpected circumstances in RL or the usual things which always reserve the right to come up.
That said, man, I am worn out...
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Kereth
Storymaster
Because 'stabbity, stabbity, stabbity' is a punchline.
Posts: 222
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Post by Kereth on Oct 10, 2006 0:20:14 GMT -5
Hah! Got this one in on time!
Anyway, two questions.
1. There were implications in that last post. Did I make them strong enough? Is it clear what is being referenced? Just want to know if I got the point across or not.
2. My story is really long. Long stories are generally bad for rp posts, as people have to keep up and stuff and have a long ways to read back if they start partway through. Obviously, people are still reading my posts, but whatcha all think? Should I swear off long, intricate plots on here in the future?
-Kereth Midknight
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Oct 10, 2006 11:01:24 GMT -5
It was clear, and I really liked the way you did it. I loved that style back when you did Something Shiny, where the story wasn't so much a third-person as someone telling a story.
I'm really not one to say whether a long story is good or not, although you may put posts out faster than me I've been writing Hand Puppet since you were near the beginning of SS. Long stories have their place, short stories are nice, but sometimes it's nice to have a long familiar story where you know all the people and places and just need to be told what happens.
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Urthdigger
Storymaster
Comments are appreciated
Posts: 214
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Post by Urthdigger on Oct 12, 2006 10:49:58 GMT -5
I am one who hides his emotions. While others will laugh uproariously at a movie, I'll sit by and smile to myself. I am mistaken for not having a sense of humor when the most I give a co-worker's antics is a slight smirk. That all being said, this latest post made me laugh out loud. Nice work
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